Uh…. Anxiety Disorder and Social Phobia are two very different things. Just throwing that out there.
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I’m someone who suffers from anxiety, but I don’t even realize it. Nothing and everything has the possibility of upsetting me, depending on the time of day and the amount of things I have on my “to-do” list. Backing up a little - Stress is different than Anxiety. Stress is where there is pressure from something causing you to worry, fixate, and “stress out” about something. Anxiety, or at least in GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) is more of a constant worry about everything. You’re always thinking about what has to be done, what needs to be done soon, what catastrophe could strike, etc., and you prepare yourself for ALL OF IT. All at once.
Essentially, you prepare yourself for situations that could happen. Like if you have anxiety about a plane crashing, you constantly worry about the crash and prepare yourself for the worst. However, you don’t imagine it crashing - you just think about it. The left frontal lobe, the “word” center for our purposes, is always overworking itself, and the right brain, the “image” center then does not have as much brain power to actually imagine the crash and bring on the full ‘freak out’ emotions of the plane crash.
For some reason, being unprepared for any kind of situation, natural or not, is one of the worst things that could possibly happen. If you’re not prepared, anything could happen.
A general example for me would be when I am sitting in a common area in say, the library. I want to get into one mode, focus, and do my work. I do not want to be interrupted. Key word in that sentence is want. Instead, I get distracted or pulled away by my own thoughts, worrying about everything and nothing. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, and that’s why I am blogging about it. Because it doesn’t. And I know I’m not the only one who deals with this kind of stuff on a day to day basis.
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"Oh my God, she’s so pretty. Stop being pretty. UGH I HATE her for looking that good. Why do people try to look good! They need to stop…"
No. NO. This is what needs to stop. The pretty-shaming needs to stop. The slut shaming and fat shaming needs to stop. The shaming people for who they are, what they do, and/or what they look like needs to STOP. I, personally, am someone who loves to dress up and look pretty. I’m also someone who loves to settle in with some comfy leggings and a giant sweater. It all depends on how I feel. I am not someone, however, who appreciates it when someone will look at me in the skirt I chose to wear and go “STOP looking so pretty! Just stop!” Um… thanks?
Ladies, I know it’s meant as a (sort of) compliment, but you need to KNOCK IT OFF. By telling someone they need to stop being pretty, your subtext is screaming “You shouldn’t look good because I didn’t want to look good and now I look so bad in comparison and I am not nearly as pretty and….” blah, blah, blah. Never feel guilty about your looks because someone else looks good, and then make them feel bad for looking “good.” Nobody else is judging you but yourself.
Why can’t we just look at someone and say that she looks nice, and then move on with our lives? Why must we fixate on physical appearances so heavily in both directions? We are all aware of the “unprecedented standards” that society, and women in particular, need to deal with from media and pop culture. However, this does not mean that we have to shame someone when they choose to look pretty. Compliment, and move on. There’s a personality under the pretty, you know. There are thoughts and ideas behind the eyeshadow.
"Pretty" doesn’t define us. It shouldn’t define us. "Pretty" should bring out who we are. Never feel guilty about your looks because someone else looks good. Nobody else is judging you but yourself.